Let me start by setting the tone for this post, so as not to bait and switch. To set the record straight, I am technically still writing (as this post itself is a testament of). My blog is still running, and I plan on continuing to write. Hopefully much more frequently than the speed that I’m posting at now.
This post is not a goodbye post, or even a “see you in awhile” message. In fact, many of you may not even care why I haven’t taken the time to write in awhile. If that’s you, don’t bother reading. There isn’t really any juicy reveal that’s coming in the next few paragraphs, or anything outstanding. Just me and my ramblings in the spot where I can vent them, from behind the safety of my computer keyboard. My own little piece of the vast world wide web.
In order to begin writing this, I really had to sit down and ask myself why it really is that I haven’t written in awhile. I used to dole out post easily and effortlessly, as a way to pour out my heart.
Lately, though, when I sit down to start typing… I feel a huge block come over me that leaves me surfing the web instead and abandoning all thoughts of expressing myself through written word.
I could blame the fact that I’m quickly approaching 5 months of pregnancy.
I could blame the fact that I’m usually exhausted after a full day of running a business, caring for a family, and all that comes with chasing around a 5 year old and 1 year old.
But then, I wouldn’t be honest with you all or myself.
The honest truth… I no longer felt what I was writing about.
I began sharing a little of my faith with promises to share more.
And then… I didn’t share more.
When I took the first steps to renew my faith in Christianity, a faith that had been put on the backburner for far too long, I figured it would be easy to come back and share what I knew with everyone, hopefully touching a person here or there along the way.
It wasn’t like I was new believer, afterall. I grew up in the church. I know lots of verses, and can sprout them out in a heartbeat!
What I didn’t realize, however, was that my heart would truly be changed in a way that I had never experienced before. In my new journey to develop a deeper relationship with Jesus, I would find myself losing the old me along the way.
And that’s what scared me.
I wondered how you would all feel about the new me.
Would you like me?
Would you want to keep reading, or turn away because I had become too “deep” or overly religious, steering away from “safe” areas of conversation and instead becoming transparent in the miraculous and wonderful changes I’ve experienced that I can only contribute to a power much higher than I or anyone else here on earth possesses.
I wanted to shy away from it a bit… take a “spiritualistic” approach, so as not to lose anyone along the way.
I wanted to hint towards the law of attraction that I had practiced for so many years, and how changing your thinking can be so empowering and life changing.
But at the end of the day… I opted for honesty. And that’s what I’ll go with. That’s what feels right. That’s what I owe you all.
So…if you’ve made it this far in this post I appreciate it, and hope you’ll stick with me as I sort out the large tangled mess of thoughts that exist in my brain and heart as I share them with you in many future post.
I hope you’ll be open to my stories about a man that came into my life and turned my world upside down, long before I was even a thought in my parents minds.
I hope you’ll read with an open heart, and a determined spirit.
And most of all, I hope that I’ll touch someone else who may be shying away from telling the truth in their own little space of the internet themselves. Rather it be a blog, Facebook, Twitter, or any other outlet, be encouraged.
I want to hear from you. And I’ll make sure you hear from me much more often as well.